-Countess in Jess Franco's
"La Comtesse Noire"
EXT. LIQUOR STORE - DAY
A convenience store in a Texas Suburb. No other businesses
CLOSE-UP: A light switch is flipped on.
The sign on top of the store lights up. It reads: "BENNY'S
WORLD OF LIQUOR."
SUBTITLE APPEARS AT BOTTOM OF SCREEN:
BIG SPRING, TEXAS
109 MILES WEST OF ABILENE
345 MILES EAST OF THE MEXICAN BORDER
A Texas Ranger patrol car pulls into the parking lot and a
real live Texas Ranger, EARL MCGRAW, steps out. McGraw is
in full ranger uniform - button shirt, cowboy hat, boots,
mirrored shades, tin star and a colt revolver on his hip.
It's about an hour and a half before sundown and McGraw is
off duty for the day.
The only other car in the parking lot is a 1975 Plymouth
(Charley Varrick's car).
INT. BENNY'S WORLD OF LIQUOR - DAY
A young Hawaiian Shirt wearing man named PETE sits on a
stool behind the counter.
A few CUSTOMERS fiddle about.
A MAN wearing a black suit, black tie, and wire rim glasses
holds hands with a PRETTY BLONDE GIRL in cutoffs and bare
feet. They look through magazines.
Another black suit wearing MAN holds hands with a RED-HEADED
GIRL in a prep school uniform. They look through the beer
cooler in the back of the store. Both girls are around
MCGRAW enters the store.
Haven't felt it a bit. Been inside
with the air conditioner blastin'
all day long.
Not even for lunch?
I'm by myself today, ate my lunch
outta the microwave.
Awww, it's just been a shit ass
day. Every inch of it hot and
miserable. First off, Nadine at
the Blue Chip got some sorta sick,
so that Mongoloid boy of her's was
workin' the grill. That fuckin'
idiot don't know rat shit from Rice
Krispies. I ate breakfast at nine,
was pukin' up pigs in a blanket
like a sick dog by ten thirty.
Isn't there a law or something
against retards serving food to
Well, if there ain't there sure
oughta be. Who knows what goes on
inside a mongoloids mind?
You could sue the shit out of her,
ya know. That kid belongs under a
circus tent, not flippin' burgers.
You could own that fuckin' place.
What the hell would I do with that
grease pit? Besides, Nadine's got
enough of a cross to bear just
taking care of that potato head.
Then all this Albiene shit
happened. You heard about that
bank robbery in Abilene, didn't ya?
That's all that's been on the box
all day. They killed some people,
Four Rangers, three cops, and two
civilians. And they took a lady
bank teller as a hostage.
Pete doesn't say anything.
They'll probably make a run for the
border, which would bring 'em this
way. And if we get our hands on
those shit asses, we're talking
payback time. We'll get 'em all
right. I gotta piss. I'm gonna use
Knock yourself out.
The black suited man by the beer cooler turns around and,
with the prep school girl in tow, walks rapidly toward Pete.
We see that the girl is crying.
Letting him use your toilet? No
store does that.
He comes in here every day and we
bullshit. He's used my toilet a
thousand times. If I told him no,
he'd know something was up.
I want that son-of-a-bitch out outta
here, in his car, and down the road
or you can change the name of this
place to "Benny's World of Blood."
What? Are you kidding? I didn't do
Richard whispers something else in Seth's ear.
He says you were scratching.
I wasn't scratching!
You callin' him a liar?
Don't do that! Look, you asked me
to act natural, and I'm acting as
natural -- in fact, under the
circumstances, I think I ought get
a fuckin' Academy Award for how
natural I'm acting. You asked me to
get rid of him, I'm doing my best.
Yeah, well, your best better get a
helluva lot fuckin' better, or
you're gonna feel a helluva fuckin' lot
McGraw steps back out of the back. He appears to be unaware of
McGraw goes down screaming.
Richard stands over him and SHOOTS him twice more.
Seth charges forward.
(in a low monotone)
He signaled the Ranger.
You gotta believe me, I didn't.
When they were talkin', he mouthed
the words "Help Us."
You fuckin' liar, I didn't say
Seth grabs Richard and throws him up against the wall.
Seth, he did it. You were by the
beer cooler with your back turned.
I was by the magazines, I could see
his face. And I saw him mouth:
While Pete lies on the floor behind the counter bleeding
from his bullet wound, he opens his floor safe and pulls out
a gun from it.
Seth releases his brother.
You believe me don'tcha?
Shut up and start the car.
...when Pete SPRINGS up, gun in hand, and SHOOTS Richard in
Richard FALLS to his knees, howling.
Both Pete and Seth SPRAY the store with gunfire.
Seth DIVES down an aisle. He reloads.
Pete DUCKS behind the counter. He reloads.
Richard has crawled to safety behind an aisle.
The two girls have run out screaming.
I'm not dead, but I'm definitely
shot! I told you that bastard
said, "Help us!"
I never said help us!
Well that don't matter now, 'cause
you got about two fuckin' seconds
to live! Richie!
When I count three, shoot out the
bottles behind him!
One... Two... Three.
They HIT the bottles of alcohol on the shelf behind Pete.
Pete is crouched on the ground as glass, debris and alcohol
RAIN down on him.
Seth grabs a roll of paper towels from off a shelf.
Richard keeps FIRING.
Seth douses the paper towels with lighter fluid, sets it on
fire with his Zippo, then tosses it.
The flaming roll of paper towels FLIES through the air.
The fireball lands behind the counter.
The entire counter area immediately BURSTS INTO FLAMES.
Pete screams from behind the counter.
Seth smiles to himself and stands.
Richard shakes his head in amusement and stands.
Pete runs out from behind the counter, ENGULFED IN FLAMES,
still holding his weapon and FIRING.
Seth and Richard hit the ground FIRING their .45's.
Pete, the human torch, FALLS like a tree into the Hostess
Seth and Richard rise from the rubble.
EXT. BENNY'S WORLD OF LIQUOR - DAY
They exit the store squabbling. The store is bursting into flames.
What am I supposed to do, Seth? He
He didn't recognize shit.
The Plymouth tears out of the parking lot backwards, hits
the street, and speeds off down the road.
We CRANE UP HIGH to see the car leaving a trail of dust
behind it, as the store burns out of control.
Raunchy, honky-tonk MUSIC fills the theater.
CREDIT SEQUENCE ENDS.
EXT. EMMA AND PETE'S GRAVY TRAIN - DAY
Emma and Pete's Gravy Train is a truck stop of of Highway
SUBTITLE APPEARS AT THE BOTTOM OF THE SCREEN':
FORT STOCKTON 238 MILES FROM THE MEXICAN BORDER
INT. EMMA AND PETE'S GRAVY TRAIN - DAY
Emma and Pete's PATRONS are made up of regulars, truckers,
cowboys and road-weary travelers. The CAMERA DOLLIES
through the maze of tables, patrons, and waitresses.
It stops when it gets to a table occupied by the FULLER
FAMILY. The Fullers definitely fall into the road-weary
category. The members of the unit consist of the father,
JACOB, age 44, an ex-preacher, a good man with rough edges,
and his two children, KATE, age 19, is a young beauty who
possesses what can only be described as as an apple pie
sensuality. She is dressed like a nice Christian girl,
complete with crucifix. SCOTT, age 16, is a Jacob's
Vietnamese adopted son. Scott is a likable, long-haired kid
who always wears a t-shirt with the name of the heavy metal
garage band he plays guitar for, "Precinct 13." The three
of them are wolfing down a late lunch.
Stop? We're not going to actually
stop at a motel, are we?
Okay, Okay, maybe I was a little
overzealous, but give me a break,
I just bought it.
-- you got your microwave --
-- you got your sink --
-- you got your shower --
-- see this, television!
Feel this, real wood paneling.
That's real wood, too, not that
Unless you two wiseacres wanna be
introduced to the joys of
hitchhiking, what say we drop this?
The truth hurts.
It's the bitterest of pills.
You two ought to start a stand-up
act, because you're just wasting
your humor on me.
Ain't it the truth.
Why do you want to stop?
Lie in the back, dad, I'll drive us
Hey, if we go to a motel, we can
I'll be right back. I'm gonna go
to the bathroom.
Jacob and Kate are left alone. There's an awkward moment of
That's very nice of Ted, but I'll
call him tomorrow and tell him not
to bother waiting.
I didn't want to talk about this in
front of Scott because he gets
upset. But you don't believe in
Not enough to be a pastor. Look, I
know this is hard on you kids.
After Jenny's death, this is
probably the last thing you need.
But I can't do it any longer. My
congregation needs spiritual
leadership. Well, they can't get
that from me anymore. My faith is
gone. To answer your question,
yes, I do believe in Jesus. But do I love
them? No. After Jenny died, I
just thought, what's the point?
It's just, all our lives you've
been a pastor. For twenty years
you've preached trust in the lord.
And then one day you wake up and
say fuck him?
I didn't say fuck him. I'm just
not connected anymore.
That happens, you'll get it back.
Kate, give your old man a little
credit. Every person who chooses
the service of God as their life's
work has something in common. I
don't care if you're a preacher, a
priest, a nun, a rabbi or a
Buddhist monk. Many, many times
during your life you'll look at
your reflection in the mirror and
ask yourself, am I a fool? We've
all done it. I'm not going through
a lapse. What I've experienced is
closer to awakening. I'm not
trying to shake your faith. I've
just decided not to devote my life
to God anymore.
What do you think Mom would say?
Mom's got nothing to say, she's
CLOSE UP: COUNTER BELL. A hand slams down on it. RING.
INT. LOBBY - DEW DROP INN - DAY
Seth stands at the front desk of the Dew Drop Inn. A
standard issue Texas motel. Richard sits outside in the
car. Nobody responds to the bell. Seth BANGS it
impatiently five times.
Watcha think I want, ya mean old
bastard? I wanna room.
Richard sits in the car listening to Merle Haggard on the
radio. He watches from his perspective, Seth taking the
walking outside and getting in the car. Seth starts
it up, and drives them to their room.
Do they have an X-Rated channel?
Do they have a waterbed?
They don't have anything except
four walls and a roof, and that's
all we need.
The two brothers get out of the car.
Seth goes to the trunk, looks around the courtyard. It's
CLOSE UP: KEY going into the trunk lock, turning.
TRUNK POV: Seth looking into the camera.
SETH'S POV: A WOMAN in her late forties is lying scrunched
up in the trunk.
She is the HOSTAGE BANK TELLER from Abilene. She's stiff,
scared and looks an absolute mess.
INT. SETH AND RICHARD'S ROOM - DAY
Seth turns from the door, see's the hostage woman standing
She sits down in the chair.
What are you planning on doing
-- I said plant yourself. Plants
don't talk. You wanna get on my
good side? Just sit still and
don't make a peep.
Richard slowly takes off his jacket. He winces from his
How ya think, it hurts like a
I'm gonna go get the money.
EXT. COURTYARD - MOTEL - DAY
Seth goes into the car, takes out a big suitcase. He scans
the perimeter with his eyes, goes back inside.
INT. MOTEL ROOM #9 - DAY
Seth comes back in, lays the suitcase on the bed. Richie
has the T.V. remote control in his hand and he's flipping
stations. Seth looks at his watch.
Good. I'm going towards the border
to check things out while it's
still daylight. Call Carlos and
arrange the rendezvous.
Hey, when you talk to him, see if
you can arrange a better deal than
That's their standard deal,
brother. They ain't about to
change it for us.
Did you even to try to negotiate?
These guys ain't spic firecracker
salesman from Tijuna. They don't
even know the meaning of the word
barter. You wanna stay in El Ray?
You give them thirty percent of
your loot. It's scripture. So it
is written, so shall it be done.
You want sanctuary, you pay the
price, and the price is thirty
All I'm saying --
-- This conversation is over.
Good. Then let me explain the
house rules. Follow the rules,
we'll get along like a house on
fire. Rule number one: No noise,
no question. You make a noise...
(he holds up his .45)
...Mr. 45 makes a noise. You ask
a question, Mr. 45 answers it.
Now are you absolutely, positively
clear about rule number one?
Rule number two: You do what we
say, when we say it. If you don't
see rule number one.
He takes the gun away and replaces the hammer.
Richard looks to the T.V., then looks to Gloria sitting
across the room in the chair.
He pats the empty space next to him.
EXT. PHONE BOOTH - DAY
A phone booth outside of a gas station. Seth is in the
middle of a conversation with the party on the other end.
Seth speaks Spanish and his dialog is subtitled into English
INT. SETH AND RICHARD'S MOTEL ROOM - NIGHT
Richard lies on the bed by himself, propped up by pillows, watching T.V.,
taking on hits from a water bong in the
shape of a wizard.
A local newscaster named KELLY HOUGE is reporting a story
about the brothers.
A red line travels from Wichita to Oklahoma.
EXT. THE CRIMINAL COURT BUILDING - DAY
Kelly Houge walks down the court house steps of the criminal
courts building of Abilene. She talks to the camera. Cops,
lawyers and citizens bustle in the b.g.
PHOTO: OFFICER SHERMAN GOODELL in full police uniform.
EXT. COURTHOUSE - DAY
Kelly Houge standing on the court house steps talking into
PHOTO: EARL MCGRAW in uniform.
PHOTO: PETE in a Hawaiian shirt holding up a big fish.
VIDEO FOOTAGE: Of Benny's World of Liquor burning down.
VIDEO GRAPHIC: Picture of The Gecko Brothers with a tally
WICHITA JAIL BREAK
VALLEY FEDERAL BANK ROBBERY
BIG SPRINGS CONVENIENCE STORE ROBBERY
TEXAS RANGERS POLICE OFFICERS CIVILIANS
4 7 2
BACK TO KELLY
PHOTO: GLORIA HILL
Kelly Houge interviewing STANLEY CHASE of the F.B.I.
Agent Chase, does it appear that
they are heading for Mexico.
Yes, it does, Kelly. We have
already alerted the Mexican
authorities. They intend to
cooperate every way possible in
bringing these fugitives to
Are you optimistic about the safety
of the hostage they took in
Abilene, Gloria Hill?
We've received no news one way or
the other. We can only hope for
What about the report from an
eyewitness at the liquor store who
said one of the brothers was shot?
This can't be confirmed at this
time, but we do believe it to be
true. We have reason to believe it
was the youngest brother Richard,
and he was shot in the vicinity of
his neck and shoulders by the
Is it safe to assume that because
the death count involved and the
loss of life of law enforcement
officers, that the Bureau, the
Rangers and the Police force are
taking this manhunt personally?
I would say that's a very safe
He changes a channel on the television. We
see a Casper the Friendly Ghost cartoon on the screen.
Would you play with me?
A big burly COP turns around.
Sure, little boy... A GHOST!!!
The cop heads for the hills. Casper cries.
Seth enters the room carrying a six pack of beer and two
take-out bags of Big Kahuna burgers.
What'd ya see?
Didya look at the border?
They're going to apprehend us in
Look, fuck the border. Let's just
dig in and wait for things to cool
Richie, it's gonna get a lot
fuckin' worse before it gets any
fuckin' better. We showed our ass
in Texas. We killed Texas fuckin'
Rangers. They ain't gonna stop
lookin' till they find us, and when
they find us, they're gonna kill
us. Texans take it very personal
when ya kill their law enforcement
officers. The El Paso police have
already started a motel and hotel
search for us.
How do you know?
I heard it on the radio. We gotta
get our asses into Mexico tonight.
Carlos is gonna meet us tomorrow
morning at a rendezvous on the
other side, then Carlos and his
boys will escort us to El Ray
She's in the other room.
What the fuck is she doin' there?!
The dead, naked body of Gloria Hill lies on the bed. It's
obvious Richard raped and killed her.
Seth covers his eyes with his hands. He slowly enters the room with the dead body.
Richard backs up.
(low and calm)
There's nothing wrong with me,
brother. That woman tried to
escape and I did what I had to do.
That woman wouldn't of said shit if
she had a mouthful.
Wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong,
wrong, wrong! Once you left, she
became a whole different person.
Is it me? Is it my fault?
It's not your fault, it's her
This is not me! I am a
professional fucking thief. I
steal money. You try to stop me,
god help you. But I don't kill
people I don't have to, and I don't
rape women. What you doin' ain't
how it's done. Do you understand?
Seth, if you were me --
Just say yes! Nothing else, just
Yes, Seth, I understand.
Yes, Seth, I understand.
Scott and Kate are in the front seat of their parked motor
home. The motor home's parked in front of the Dew Drop
Inn's front office. We see Jacob inside getting a room from
the Old Timer.
It's a flop house.
It's not a flop house. It's basic
and simple. That doesn't make it a
If it doesn't have a pool, we're
looking for a new place.
Other places have beds, they also
have cable T.V., a gym, room
Seth walks out of room #9 with a beer in his hand. He's
thinking about how he's going to get over the border
tonight. Lost in thought, he steps out in the path of the
Fuller's motor home.
Jacob slams on the brakes.
Seth jumps back, startled.
Both Kate and Scott are TOSSED out of their seats onto the
floor. THUD... THUD...
Seth just stands right in their way without moving, gazing
up at the giant motor home.
JACOB BEHIND THE WHEEL
Kate and Scott join him up front looking at this weirdo.
I have no idea.
Pass they do!
INT. FULLERS' MOTEL ROOM - NIGHT
The Fullers are in room 12. It's identical to the one that
the Gecko boys are in, except that the paintings above the
beds are different. Jacob has fallen asleep in his clothes
on the bed.
Scott sits in a chair, headphones on, playing an unplugged
electric guitar. Kate is nowhere in sight.
KNOCK... KNOCK... KNOCK... on the door.
Scott doesn't hear shit but his music.
Jacob stirs a bit, but doesn't wake up.
POUND... POUND... POUND... on the door.
Jacob SPRINGS UP. He looks over at Scott, who, lost in
guitar heaven, is oblivious of the knocker, then to the
Jacob opens the door and sees...
... Richard Gecko standing in the doorway, looking like the
nicest guy in the entire world.
(still partially asleep)
He sees Richard and Seth both inside the room with the door
closed, both with .45's in their hands, both aimed at him.
Okay, Jacob, get up and sit your
ass down on the bed. Make a wrong
move and I'll shoot you in the
Richard removes the gun from Scott's mouth and stands next
to his brother, looking down at their two hostages.
He's my son.
How does that happen? You don't
Neither does he. He looks
Oh, well, excuse me all to hell.
What's this about, money?
It's about money, all right, but
not yours. You see, me and my
brother here are in a little hot
water and we need your assistance.
The brothers spin their guns in her direction.
Kate, startled, screams.
Jacob and Scott get on their feet and move forward.
Seth spins back towards the two men, gun ready to spit.
Richard moves like quicksilver, shutting the door and
positioning himself behind the terrified Kate.
We're having a wet bikini contest,
and you just won.
It's okay, honey. Everything's
going to be all right.
Just listen to daddy, sugar, and
don't do nothin' stupid.
(he turns to Jacob and
Scott who are still
You two, Simon says sit the fuck
Richard can't take his eyes off the dripping wet Kate.
Both Jacob and Seth see this and neither men like it. Both
for their own reasons.
On the dresser.
Richie, take the keys. Start that
big bastard up, and drive it up
He looks in her face.
She smiles at him.
Everybody is where they were. Kate never turned around.
Seth GRABS her wrist.
Do you believe me?
You damn well better. Go.
She goes into the bathroom.
Look, if you want the motor home,
just take it and get out.
If you're taking people, take me.
But my kids aren't going anywhere
Sorry, I need everybody.
My children are not going with you,
and that's that.
That's not fuckin' that...
(holds up his gun)
this is fuckin' this.
(he calms down and looks
Go sit over there.
Your old man's all right, he just
saved your life.
EXT. HIGHWAY - NIGHT
The motor home with the powder keg interior drives through
the Lone Star night.
INT. MOTOR HOME NIGHT
Richard's in the back bed area with a gun trained on Rate
and Scott. The two scared siblings hold hands.
where are you taking us?
What's in Mexico?
In the front part of the motor home, Jacob sits behind the
wheel, driving into the night. Seth sits in the passenger
seat, going through Jacob's wallet and talking to him
Scott and Kate.
Where is the little lady?
Yes, she is.
How'd she die?
Come on, gimme some more details.
How'd it happen? Some fuckin'
drunk kill her?
No. It was a rainy night, the
brakes on the car weren't great.
She had to stop suddenly. She slid
on the road, she crashed, she died.
Not quite. She was trapped in the
wreck for about six hours before
she passed on.
Whewww! Those acts of God really
stick it in and break it off, don't
Yes they do.
I've seen one of these before. A
friend of mine had himself declared
a minister of his own religion. A
way to fuck the I.R.S. Is that
what you're doing, or are you the
You're a preacher?
I was a minister.
Was? As in not anymore?
Why'd ya quit?
I think I've gotten about as up
close and personal with you as I'm
gonna get. Now if you need me like
I think you need me, you're not
gonna kill me 'cause I won't answer
your stupid, prying questions. So,
with all due respect, mind your own
I seem to have touched a nerve.
Don't be so sensitive, Pops, let's
keep this friendly. But you're
right, enough with the getting to
know you shit. Now, there's two
ways we can play this hand.
One way is me and you go round an'
round all fuckin' night. The other
way, is we reach some sort of an
understanding. Now, if we go down
that first path at the end of the
day, I'll win. But we go down the
second, we'll both win. Now, I
don't give a rat's ass about you or
your fuckin' family. Y'all can
live forever or die this second and
I don't care which. The only
things I do care about are me
that son-of-a-bitch in the back,
and our money. And right now I
need to get those three things into
Mexico. Now, stop me if I'm wrong,
but I take it you don't give a shit
about seeing me and my brother
receiving justice, or the bank
getting its money back. Right now
all you care about is the safety of
your daughter, your son and
possibly yourself. Am I correct?
I thought so. You help us get
across the border without incident,
stay with us the rest of the night
without trying anything funny, and
in the morning we'll let you and
your family go. That way everybody
gets what they want. You and your
kids get out of this alive and we
get into Mexico. Everybody's
How do I know you'll keep your
Jesus Christ, Pops, don't start
with this shit.
You want me to sit here and be
passive.The only way being
passive in this
situation makes sense is if I
believe you'll let us go. I'm not
there yet. You have to convince me
you're telling the truth.
Look, dickhead, the only thing you
need to be convinced about is that
you're stuck in a situation with a
coupla real mean motorscooters. I
don't wanna hafta worry about you
all fuckin' night. And I don't
think you wanna be worrying about
my brother's intentions toward your
daughter all night. You notice the
way he looked at her, didn't ya?
Didn't like it, did ya?
No, I didn't.
Didn't think so. So, as I was
saying, I'm willing to make a deal.
You behave, get us into Mexico, and
don't try to escape. I'll keep my
brother off your daughter and let
you all loose in the morning.
You won't let him touch her?
I can handle Richie, don't worry.
Fair enough. You break your word,
I'll kill all of you.
(calling to the back)
You must have a bible in here,
Yeah, we got a bible.
Get it and bring it up here, will
I swear to God I won't try to
escape and I'll do my best to get
you into Mexico.
You best better get it done, Pops.
Seth places his hand on the Bible.
I swear to God I'll let you loose
in the morning. And your daughter
will be safe. And I also swear if
you do anything to fuck me up, I'll
slit all your throats.
INT. MOTOR HOME - NIGHT
Richard's in the back with Kate and Scott. Richard,
expressionless, looks at Kate's bare feet.
SLOW ZOOM KATE'S BARE FEET
EX CU KATE'S TOES. They wiggle.
His eyes go to her hands.
SLOW ZOOM KATE'S HANDS
EX CU KATE'S FINGERS
His eyes go to her neck.
SLOW ZOOM NAPE OF KATE'S NECK
EX CU KATE'S ADAM'S APPLE. She swallows.
His eyes move up.
SIDE PROFILE OF KATE, SLOW ZOOM TO KATE'S LIPS
Back to Richard.
In the room. Were you serious, or
were you just foolin' around? I'm
just bringing it up, 'cause if you
really want me to do that for you I
(in a whisper)
What you said to me in the room.
What did I say?
You asked me if I would --
Seth and Jacob.
I told you to watch those kids, I
didn't say talk to 'em. You guys
ain't got nothin' to say to one
another. So cut the chatter.
EXT. THE MEXICAN BORDER - NIGHT
Automobiles are lined up, waiting one by one to go into
Mexico. Cop cars with their red and blue lights flashing
are all over the place. Border Patrol men and Police are
stopping all cars. Pulling up to the end of the line is the
Fuller's mobile home.
INT. MOBILE HOME - NIGHT
Jacob at the wheel, Seth in the passenger seat. Seth jumps
up and goes into action.
As long as you're cool, she'll be
cool. What're ya gonna say?
I don't have the slightest idea.
Well, you just keep thinkin' of
that gun next to Kate's temple.
Father and son are alone for the first time since this whole
I'm gonna try and get us across the
No, dad, you gotta tell 'em that
they're back there.
INT. BATHROOM - MOBILE HOME - NIGHT
The bathroom, which consists of a shower, a toilet and a
small sink, is a tight fit with three people in it.
Richard has his back against the wall, with his arm around
Kate, holding her in front of him. One hand is over her
mouth, the other holds a .45 against her head.
Kate's eyes are wide with fear.
Seth stands, .45 in hand, ready to fire if the wrong person
should open the door.
Everybody talks low and quiet.
Shut up. It's gonna work just
I just want to go on record as
saying this is a bad idea.
Duly noted. Now, shut up.
As long as you don't act like a
fuckin' nut, we'll be just fine.
What does that mean?
No, I didn't.
Yes, you did. You said as long as
I don't act like a fuckin' nut,
implying that I've been acting like
a fuckin' nut.
Take a pill, kid. I just meant
You meant that, but you meant the
(his voice rising)
Fuck those spic pigs! You called
me a fuckin' nut, and where I come
from, that stops the train on its
(real quiet and violent)
Keep your voice down.
They're gonna kill us. They get us
across the border, they're gonna
take us out in the desert and shoot
If they get over the border,
they're gonna let us go.
Dad, I watch those reality shows.
They never let anybody go. Any cop
will tell you, in a situation like
this, you get a chance, you go for
it. This is our chance.
What about Kate?
They're gonna kill her anyway. At
least now with all these cops we've
got a fighting chance.
Son, I have this situation under
control. I know exactly what I'm
doing. You're going to have to
trust me on this.
If trusting you means trusting
those fuckin' killers, I can't do
that. If you don't tell the cops,
He's running the show.
I'm running the show. I make the
plays, and you back the plays I
make. Stop thinking with your
fucking balls. Kate in a room with
a couple of desperate men with
nothing to fucking lose ain't the
time to "go for it." I need your
cover. Cover my ass.
They both look out the window.
It's their turn with the BORDER PATROL GUARDS.
JACOB takes the wheel and drives up.
A stern BORDER GUARD approaches JACOB'S window.
Just my son and I.
What is your purpose in Mexico?
Vacation. I'm taking him to see
his first bullfight.
This ain't the time.
oh, I know, was it possibly when
your ass was rotting in jail and I
broke it out? Yeah, you're right,
that was pretty fuckin' nutty. Not
to mention stupid. But you know
what? I can fix that right now.
Oh, that's just my daughter in the
You said it was just you and your
I meant me, my son and my daughter.
Then it's quiet. Then we hear talking outside the door, but
we can't make it out. Then we hear a knock.
BORDER GUARD (O.S.)
It's the Border Patrol. Open up.
BORDER GUARD in the doorway looking in.
HE SEES: Kate by herself, pants around her ankles, sitting
on the toilet.
Seth and Kate meet eyes.
He gives her the O.K. signal.
BACK WINDOW MOTOR HOME
We see through the back window of the motor home, the border
getting smaller as we drive away from it.
Scott knocks on the bathroom door.
Kate, emerging from the bathroom, reacts to Seth's scream,
along with Scott.
Seth is so happy that he does a little jig in the back of
Everybody else is still tense as shit. But Seth lets go of
all his tension, and becomes a new man before our eyes. he
turns to Kate.
He charges for her. GRABS her, hugs her around her waist,
and spins her around. When he lets her go, she stumbles
dizzily onto the bed.
I'm hiding in the shower, and I'm
thinking to myself, "Did I just
fuckin' hear what I just fuckin'
heard? And what does he do -- he
shuts the fucking door!
Pops, when you're right, you're
right, and you are right.
You're gonna let us go?
In the morning, darlin', in the
morning, we are G-O-N-E and you are
F-R-E-E. Now, I know I put you
guys through hell, and I know I've
been one rough pecker, but from
here on end you guys are in my cool
book. Scotty, help me pick Richie
up, and lay him down. Jacob, keep
going on this road till you get to
a sign that says, "Digayo." When
you get to Digayo, turn this big
bastard left, go on down for a few
miles, then you see a bar called,
"The Titty Twister." From what I
hear, you can't miss it.
Then stop, 'cause that's where
CLOSE-UP RICHARD without glasses. Unconscious, Seth slaps
Yeah, I think so. What happened?
I don't know, you just passed out.
Yeah, we were just standing there.
You said something about your
shoulder hurting, then you just hit
the ground like a sack of potatoes.
Yeah, when you fell your head
smacked the toilet hard. It scared
the shit outta me. Sure you're
Yeah, I guess. I'm just a little
Well, let me tell ya something,
gonna clear your head right up. We
are officially Mexicans.
"South of the border down Mexico
Yep. We're heading for the
rendezvous right now. We get
there, we pound booze till Carlos
shows up, he escorts us to El Ray.
And then me and you, brother, kick
fuckin' back. How ya like them
They broke when you fell.
Oh, fuck, Seth, that's my only
Don't worry about it, we'll get you
Whatdya mean, don't worry about it.
Of course I'm gonna worry about it,
I can't fuckin' see.
When we get to El Ray, I'll take
care of it.
Yeah, like a Mexican
hole-in-the-wall's gonna have my
It's not a big deal, unless you
make it a big deal. Now, I'm real
happy, Richie, stop bringing me
down with bullshit.
A neon sign that flashes:
THE TITTY TWISTER
Hiker/Trucker bar, Dusk till Dawn"
Underneath the joint's proud name on the sign, and on top of
"Biker/Trucker bar, Dusk till Dawn" is a well-endowed woman,
whose breast is being twisted by a neon hand.
EXT. THE TITTY TWISTER NIGHT
The neon sign sits on top of the rudest, sleaziest, most crab-infested, strip joint, honky-tonk whorehouse in all of Mexico.
The Titty Twister is located out in the middle of nowheresville. It sits by itself with nothing around it for miles. A plethora of choppers and eighteen wheelers are parked out in front. The walls almost pulsate from the LOUD, RAUNCHY MUSIC within the structure. Signs cover the walls outside reading things like:
"AUTHENTIC MEXICAN FOOD,"
"BIKERS AND TRUCKERS ONLY,"
"OPEN DUSK TILL DAWN,"
"THURSDAY COCKFIGHT NIGHT,"
"WEDNESDAY DOGFIGHT NIGHT,"
"DONKEY SHOW MONDAYS,"
"EVERY FRIDAY BARE KNUCKLE FIGHT TO THE DEATH, FEATURING THE LOVELY SANTANICO PANDEMONIUM,"
"ATHENA AND DANNY THE WONDER PONY,"
"THE SLEAZY TITTY TWISTER DANCERS."
In the parking lot, a BIKER and a TRUCK DRIVER beat the shit out of each other, one with a pipe, the other with a hammer. A SECOND BIKER fucks a Titty Twister WHORE against the wall. A greasy man, known as CHET PUSSY, stands in the parking lot, soliciting customers through a Mr. Microphone.
INT. MOTOR HOME - NIGHT
What's left of the Fuller family and the Gecko family look
out the windshield onto the sight that is the Titty Twister.
The camper door FLIES OPEN and the two brothers and the
Fuller family step out into the night.
They look across the parking lot at the Titty Twister. It
literally looks in some ways like the entrance to hell.
Shit, I been to bars make this
place look like a fuckin' 4-H club.
I gotta say I'm with Jacob on this.
I been to some fucked up places in
my time, but that place is fucked
That's how you're lookin', Richie.
I'm lookin' scared?
That's what you look like.
You know what you look like?
No, Richie, what do I look like?
You're lookin' green.
Where are you right now?
What do you mean?
Where are you?
I'm here with you.
No, you're not. You're sippin'
margaritas in El Ray. But we're
not in El Ray. We're here --
getting ready to go in there.
You're so pleased with yourself
about getting into Mexico, you
think the job's down. It ain't.
Get back on the clock. That's a
fuck-with-you-bar. We hang around
there for a coupla hours, in all
likelihood, we'll get fucked with.
So get your shit together, brother.
My shit is together.
It don't look together.
Well, it is. Just because I'm
happy doesn't mean I'm on vacation.
You're just not used to seein' me
happy, 'cause it's been about
fifteen fuckin' years since I been
happy. But my shit is forever
Step aside, asshole.
Chet lets out a SCREAM.
Seth VIOLENTLY brings his HEAD FORWARD PULVERIZING Chet's
Chet FALLS to his KNEES in front of Seth.
Seth HOOKS him with a powerful FIST UNDER his CHIN that
SNAPS Chet's HEAD BACK, and THROWS him on his BACK.
After HITTING the GROUND, Seth SENDS a SAVAGE KICK straight
to Chet's FACE, ROLLING HIM OVER.
Chet is OUT.
The whole altercation took two seconds.
Everyone's in shock and looks at Seth.
Seth looks back at everyone.
INT. THE TITTY TWISTER NIGHT
If the Titty Twister looked like the asshole of the world
from the outside, in the immortal words of Al Jolson, "You
ain't seen nothin' yet." This is the kind of place where
they sweep up the teeth and hose down the cum, the blood and
the beer at closing.
In the back, TOPLESS DANCERS do lap dances with customers,
while a SLEAZY SEXY STRIPPER STRIPS to RAUNCHY MUSIC, played
at eardrum-bursting level. TWO MEN are in a savage BARE
KNUCKLE FIGHT, surrounded by screaming customers of bikers
One of the dancers is a man with a saddle on his back, his
name is DANNY THE WONDER PONY. The woman on his back, in
the saddle, feet in the stirrups, hands on the reins, is
ATHENA, his rider. They dance around to the cheers of the
Bikers and truckers play pool in the back. Fights break out
here about one every ten minutes. The customers may start
'em, but the bouncer, BIG EMILIO, ends 'em.
Seth, Richard, Jacob, Scott and Kate walk through the door.
They each individually take in the sights and the smells.
Seth is the first to say something.
Their difference from the usual road waif nomads who
populate the Twister disturbs him. He exchanges a knowing
look across the room with Big Emilio, as the group bellies
up to the bar.
You can't come in here.
This is a private club. You're not
Are you tellin' me I'm not good
enough to drink here?
This bar is for bikers and truckers
(points his finger to
You, get out!
I'm going to count to three.
No, I'm going to count to three.
As Jacob talks he takes out his wallet.
Razor Charlie picks up the license, looks at Jacob, looks at
everyone in the party and smiles.
I kinda doubt that. We're grabbin'
a table, send over a waitress to
take our order.
We just hang on the evil wheels turning inside of Razor
The five of them move across the floor to a table. As they
walk, Kate attracts stares, wolf whistles and rude comments
from some of the patrons. Jacob keeps near his daughter.
The dancers do their sexy routines. A big-chested,
wild-haired blonde catches Scott's eye. She winks at him.
Richard leans over and whispers in Scott's ear.
Seth, still in a bad mood, takes the cork out of the whiskey
bottle and tosses it. He pours Richie and himself a glass.
(picking a fight)
Why not, against your religion?
(won't be baited)
No, I do drink, I'm just not
Suit yourself, more for me.
Okay, I'll have one.
No you won't.
Seth turns to Kate.
I'm still stewing about that ape
laying hands on me. And that fuckin' bartender sticks a
weed up my ass, too.
He backed down.
He's smilin' at us. But behind his
smile, he's sayin', "Fuck you
Jack." I hear that loud and clear.
What are you going to do?
(picking up the whiskey
I'm gonna just sit here and drain
this bottle. And when I've drunk
the last drop, if I still feel
then, the way I feel now, I'm gonna
take this bottle and break it over
his melon head.
Before we stepped in here, you told
all of us to be cool. That means
(tossing it off)
I never said do what I do, I said
do what I say.
Are you so much a fucking loser,
you can't tell when you've won?
Nothing. I didn't make a
statement. I asked a question.
Would you like me to ask it again?
Very well. Are you such a loser
you can't tell when you've won?
The entire state of Texas, along
with the F.B.I., is looking for
you. Did they find you? No. They
couldn't. They had every entrance
to the border covered. There's no
way you could get across. Did you?
Yes, you did. You've won, Seth,
Yeah, it's mine.
Go out and bring it in. I feel a
song coming on.
Seth sitting at the table, playing guitar, singing Mexican
songs. Some bikers, truckers, and whores have gathered
around their table. Everyone's groovin'. Seth finishes the
song. Everybody applauds.
Razor Charlie behind the bar grabs the greasy microphone
that he uses to announce dancers.
The crowd hushes up.
And on the stage steps SANTANICO PANDEMONIUM.
This Mexican goddess is beautiful, but not the beauty that
Stendhal described in "As the Promise of Happiness," but the
beauty of the siren who lures men to their doom.
She dances to the raunchy music, netlike she owned the
stage, but like she owned the world.
And if the patrons of the Titty Twister are her world, the
world is proud to be her possession.
All activity in the bar, save Santanico, stops.
Even the Fuller/Gecko table falls under her spell.
Especially Richard, Scott and Kate.
Seth knows this song and accompanies from the table with the
When the music builds to its explosive section.
Santanico LEAPS from the stage, LANDING in the middle of the
She does an eyes-closed voodoo dance in perfect step with
As the music continues to play, a very fucked-up looking
Chet Pussy walks in. He goes over to Razor Charlie and
points at Seth's table, describing what happened.
As the last verse plays, Santanico, like a snake, comes up
from the ground, on top of the Fuller/Gecko table.
Richard, Kate and Scott are enraptured.
Santanico scans the table, zeroing in on our boy Richard.
She STANDS OVER him.
While moving her body to the music, she lifts up the whisky
bottle from the table, and pours the whiskey down her leg.
She lifts up her foot, with the whiskey dripping from her
toes, and sticks it in Richard's face.
Jacob and Scott are embarrassed.
Kate, oddly enough, is turned on by the controlling power
this woman has over a man she's deathly feared.
Seth laughs out loud a Mexican "yi yi yiii" laugh, keeping
the beat with his guitar.
Across the room, Razor Charlie, Chet by his side, motions
over Big Emilio. He begins explaining with pointing what
Seth and company did to Chet.
Richard continues to suck her toes.
The song ends, Santanico extracts her foot from Richard's
mouth. Steps off the table. Takes a drink of whiskey.
Looks down at the seated Richard.
She GRABS the back of his hair, YANKS his head BACK.
His mouth OPENS because she's hurting him.
She LEANS her FACE OVER his like she's going to kiss him.
Then let's the whiskey from her mouth fall into his. They
The crowd applauds.
She lets go of Richard's hair. Except for Jacob and
Richard, both for their own reasons, the table applauds,
none louder than Seth.
Richard, still in a daze, looks up at his new friend.
Well, then ask her, dumb ass.
(looking up at Santanico)
For favor, Senorita. Would you
care to join us?
Muy bien, gracias.
Now, little lady, you could of just
as easily done that to me. Whoa
Nelly! You got my dick harder'n
The table laughs.
Which reminds me of a joke. Little
Red Riding Hood is walking through
the forest and she comes across
Little Bo Peep, and Little Bo Peep
"Little Red Riding Hood, are you
crazy? Don't you know the Big Bad
Wolf is walking these woods and if
he finds you he's gonna pull down
your dress and squeeze your
titties?" Then Little Red Riding
Hood hitches up her skirt and taps
a .357 Magnum she has holstered on
her thigh and says: "No he won't."
(pointing at Seth)
This piece of shit broke my finger
and my nose...
(pointing at Richard)
then this fag kicked me in the
ribs while I was down.
Fuck off, ape man!
Santanico steps back from the table.
Seth jumps to his feet and FIRES a round from his .45 into
Big Emilio, sending his bullet-ridden body to the floor.
Razor Charlie whips out a straight version of his namesake
and SLASHES Seth across the face.
Seth SCREAMS at the top of his lungs as his hand goes up to
his laid open cheek.
Richard, who has fallen to the ground holding his wound,
brings up his .45 and starts BLASTING.
Razor Charlie takes a bullet in the head, chest and belly
before he hits the floor.
Jacob and his children have hit the floor as well to stay
out of gunfire.
The bikers, truckers, waitresses and whores all stop what
they were doing.
The music continues to play, though the dancers stop
Santanico, who's closest to the two brothers, smells
Her NOSTRILS FLARE.
Richard moves to his brother, who takes out a handkerchief
and puts it to his face.
Scarred for life, that's how I am!
SLOW MOTION: Blood drips from Richard's shoulder. It falls
to the floor, splattering.
WE MOVE INTO SANTANICO'S FACE. A special aroma fills her
nostrils. Her eyes lock on Richard. The look on her face
could easily be read as intense sexual desire.
CU KATE ON FLOOR
looks up and watches, eyes wide with fear, Santanico's
Her NOSE RECEDES INTO her face like a rodent's.
The whites of her eyes turn YELLOW.
The FANGS of a beast PROTRUDE from her mouth.
Kate yells from the floor.
SANTANICO LEAPS ACROSS THE FLOOR, LANDS on his BACK and
SINKS her FANGS into Richie's wounded SHOULDER.
Richard LETS LOOSE with an agonizing SCREAM.
Seth turns to his brother's cry.
He sees SANTANICO PANDEMONIUM, like a mongoose attached to a
cobra, legs wrapped around Richard's waist, fangs buried
deep in his shoulder, and Richard screaming and slamming
about, trying to knock her off.
Richard screams to Seth:
Jacob and his children can't believe what they're seeing.
Richard can't take it anymore, his knees buckle. Santanico
rides him down to the floor.
Seth gets a clear shot, he takes aim and FIRES, hitting the
vamp in the head, blowing her off his brother.
Richard, who's on all fours, tries to stand and gets about
half way before he stops, saying:
The patrons scream.
A WHORE locks the front door (which is a complicated lock
with steel rods going into the ground), turns toward the bar
The vamps attack.
What follows is a shark feeding frenzy.
Whores, who had been sitting on customer's laps, sink their
teeth into unshaven necks.
Naked strippers and bikers wail the shit out of each other.
Truckers get their heads caved in by women half their size.
The patrons use whatever they can find to fend off the
monsters: chairs, chair legs, broken bottles, switchblades,
Jacob, Kate and Scott make a dash and dive behind the bar.
They hide and watch.
Seth stands where his was, limp dick of a .45 in his hand,
too freaked, scared and stunned to do anything. He stands
motionless, watching what he can't believe.
Behind him, Santanico, who lies next to the dead Richard,
eyes POP OPEN.
She RISES in her snake/dance way.
Seth feels her and SPINS in her direction, gun raised.
Santanico gives Seth a SWINGING ROUNDHOUSE PUNCH to the JAW
that sends him FLYING over a table, SLIDING ACROSS the FLOOR
and INTO the WALL.
A bad ass biker named FROST, with a hideous burn on the side
of his face, stands on top of a pool table, swinging a pool
cue, left to right, fending off vamps.
Big Emilio picks up a biker who stabbed him with a
switchblade and throws the poor bastard from one end of the
bar to the other.
The biker-winner of the bare knuckle fight, SEX MACHINE,
goes head to head with a stripper.
The vamp might have superhuman strength, but Sex Machine has
close to superhuman strength, and he's matching the vamp
bitch blow for blow.
Then he GRABS her by the waist, LIFTS her up over his head
and BRINGS her DOWN HARD on an upturned table, IMPALING her
on the wooden leg.
FROST is still swinging his POOL CUE, when Razor Charlie
appears, straight razor in hand.
Frost JUMPS off the table to meet the challenge. Razor
Charlie SWINGS at him, Frost LEAPS back, SWINGING his pool
cue at him. They do this dance, till Frost CRACKS Charlie
UPSIDE the HEAD with the pool cue, breaking it in half.
Charlie FEELS the HIT. Frost PLUNGES the splintered end of
the cue in Razor Charlie's heart.
Green blood comes out of his chest, as Charlie screams the
vampire's death scream.
Seth comes to and finds Santanico standing over him. He
tries to rise, but Santanico places her bare foot on his
chest, pinning him down to the floor. He tries to move, but
the pressure of her foot is equivalent to an engine block
placed on his chest.
looking down at Seth, her face contorts to FEED MODE, when
the bottle HITS her SQUARE in the HEAD, SHATTERING.
We see that Jacob behind the bar threw it.
Santanico, bathed in whiskey and broken glass, is
momentarily dazed. She looks down at Seth.
Seth sits up, .45 in hand, and fires.
Santanico is HIT in the CHEST. The bullet from the gun
makes the liquor-soaked robe ignite.
Santanico SCREAMS as she GOES UP IN FLAMES.
Big Emilio sees Santanico's fiery death. He lets out a cry.
Seth and Jacob see Big Emilio zeroing in on them, Then they
see him move his big frame in their direction. Seth turns
Big Emilio never breaks his stride or takes his eyes off
Seth and Jacob.
Seth and Jacob both grab pieces of wood, holding it like a
weapon, but the wood looks puny compared to their opponent.
Big Emilio stands in front of them.
The two men hold their wood tight.
Fangs grow in Big Emilio's mouth that make him look like a
huge walking shark.
Just when Big Emilio's ready to strike, he hears behind him,
They both hit the ground.
Sex Machine gestures with his hand to Big Emilio to "come
Big Emilio CHARGES towards Sex Machine, like a runaway
Sex Machine stands his ground waiting for IMPACT.
The two huge men COLLIDE.
What follows is literally a war of the Gargantuans. The two
mastiffs POUND each other till one buckles. Finally, the
one who buckles first is Big Emilio, who HITS the floor.
Once on the floor, Seth and Jacob, stand over the huge vamp,
BEATING him with clubs and pipes, like L.A.'s finest. The
vamp can do nothing except SQUIRM on the floor from the
Sex Machine holds a pool cue in his hand. He SNAPS off the
end tip, making it jagged, and like a spear, STICKS it into
big vamp's fallen body. Big Emilio, SCREAMS, TWITCHES and
dies. The pool cue sticks out straight up from the dead
Chet Pussy spies Ms. Apple Pie Pussy herself, Kate. He
breaks into a lecherous grin and licks the blood from around
Kate and Scott are cowering behind the bar when Chet appears
over the top. They both let out a scream. Scott goes to
protect his sister and receives a punch in the face for his
trouble. Chet dives at Kate.
Chet has swallowed the crucifix. A SIZZLING sound is heard
moving down from his throat to his belly. He opens his
mouth and lets out a noise similar to a train whistle.
He jumps up from behind the bar, doing a wild dance from
pain. He jumps from wall to wall and floor to ceiling,
screaming all the while.
Kate and Scott watch him from the bar, mischievous grins on
Chet is on his knees, arms stretched out, yelling at the top
of his lungs like a vamp King Lear.
By this time there are not too many people left. Most of
the vampire have been killed by wooden stakes and most of
the customers have been butchered or drained.
All that's left on the vampire side are two naked dancers
and two whores. On the human side are Seth, Jacob and his
kids, Sex Machine and Frost. Aside from the children, who
are hiding behind the bar, all the humans are holding wooden
The four human men group together. The four female vampires
charge, teeth exposed, snarling and dripping with blood.
Seth, Jacob, Sex Machine and Frost raise their weapons and
slam, almost simultaneously, the four vamps. All four
staked bodies hit the floor.
Kate and Scott run from behind the bar to their father's
They all stand looking at the horrible carnage that has
taken place. The floor is littered with dead bodies.
It vanishes, along with the bodies of the vampires. All
that remains is a smoldering mess of goo where the bodies
They all stare at the mess for a few seconds and then RUN
for the door. It's locked. They BANG on the door, but it's
useless. It ain't budging, yet they all go on banging.
Except for Seth. He never ran for the door. He walks
over to his dead brother's body and kneels beside it.
He takes his dead hand.
He ain't your brother no more.
That's a matter of opinion, and I
don't give a fuck about your's.
Peachy! Why shouldn't I be? The
world's my oyster, except for the
fact that I just rammed a wooden
stake in my brother's heart because
he turned into a vampire, even
though I don't believe in vampires.
Aside from that unfortunate
business, everything's hunky-dory.
I'm really sorry.
Bullshit! You hate us. If you had
half a chance you'd feed us to
Then why didn't I?
At first I just thought it was
No, it's more of a gnawing sound.
Birds peck, they don't gnaw. Rats
The outside of the Titty Twister is literally covered with
hats, CLAWING, FLAPPING, GNAWING, trying like hell to get
Everybody listens to the bats SCRATCHING and clawing all
along the walls, the roof and at the front door. Everyone's
scared shitless and nobody has the slightest idea what to do
next. The door begins to crack and splinter, little claws
poke their way through.
As the survivors are panickedly boarding up the door and the
windows, a DEAD BIKER that the vampires fed on pops open his
yellow eyes. He sits up and sees all the furious activity.
Everyone's so busy they don't notice their new friend. The
dead biker vamp sets his sights on Kate, who's putting a
board into place. He springs to his feet and POUNCES on
her, just as Sex Machine turns from across the room in her
At that point, three other dead victims rise to a sitting
position. Sex Machine grabs a chair and THROWS it to the
ground, breaking it. He grabs the four legs.
As CAT CAP runs toward the fallen Sex Machine, Kate JUMPS on
his back from behind. Both of them go tumbling into a stack
of whiskey cases. Sex Machine runs over and grabs Kate by
the hand, pulling her up and out of the way. Cat Cap is
lying in a pile of broken bottles and whiskey. Sex Machine
raises his stake as Cat Cap dies and DRIVES it in the vamp's
black heart. Cat Cap dies and bursts into flames, which
hits the whiskey, starting a giant fire.
Way ahead of ya.
What's your name, girly?
Kate, what's yours?
Sex Machine. Pleased to meet'cha.
Kate, let's stake these
Jacob and FROST beat down the fire with their jackets and
whatever else is at hand.
A hole begins to appear where a window had been plastered
over. Little claws scrape their way through. Scott stands
in front of the window.
Seth, gun in hand, RUNS to the window. He points the .45,
point-blank range at the head of the bat/rat.
The bat/rat sees this, makes an "oh shit" face, and YANKS
his head back through the hole.
Seth was ready to fire, he lowers his gun in bewilderment,
The bat/rat BURSTS through the hole, like shot out of a
cannon, HITTING Seth in the gut and sending him FLYING,
LANDING HARD on his back.
Once Seth hits the ground, the bat-thing (which has the body
of a fat rat with a bat's large wingspan) lickity-split RUNS
UP Seth's body to his juggler. Seth's hand GRABS the bat's
neck, and tries to PUSH it away. But the bat-thing has its
CLAWS DUG in Seth's clothes. The bat-thing is just inches
from Seth's face. Its mouth is SNAPPING.
Sex Machine and Kate are a green, bloody mess from their
preventative staking of dead bodies. Sex Machine kneels by
a dead body, raising the stake in his hand to spear him.
The body SPRINGS UP and bites Sex Machine on the arm. Red
blood squirts all over. Sex Machine screams, then brings
the stake down in the body's chest. It dies, burns and
turns into goo. Sex Machine holds his bit arm and wraps it
with a piece of his shirt. He quickly looks around to see
if anybody saw him get bit. Nobody saw it, everybody was
Frost holds the FLAPPING, FIGHTING, SNAPPING bat-thing in
front of him at arm's length. He struggles with it for
BASHES its head against the bar. The first bash takes some
fight out of the little fucker, so... Frost BASHES his head
against the bar six or seven times. He then THROWS the
bat-thing on the bar, turns it over, garbs a pencil in a cup
next to the register, and RAMS it in the bat-thing's heart.
The bat-thing coughs and dies. There's a FLASH of FLAMES,
followed by a pile of goo.
Sex Machine and Kate have covered up a hole in the plastered
window with a table while Frost, Scott and Seth wrestle with
Jacob has put out the fire.
Everybody comes together, exhausted, and takes a breather.
Outside, the bats continue to try and claw their way in.
Yeah, I know what's going on. We
got a bunch of fuckin' vampires
outside trying to get inside and
suck our fuckin' blood! That's it,
plain and simple. And I don't
wanna hear any bullshit about "I
don't believe in vampires" because
I don't fuckin' believe in vampires
either. But I-do believe in my own
two fuckin' eyes, and with my two
eyes I saw fuckin' vampires! Now,
does everybody agree we're dealin'
I'm like you. I don't believe in
vampires, but I believe in what I
Good for you. Now, since we all
believe we're dealing with
vampires, what do we know about
vampires? Crosses hurt vampires.
Do you have a cross?
In the Winnebago.
In other words, no.
What are you talking about? We got
crosses all over the place.
All you gotta do is put two sticks
together and you got a cross.
He's right. Peter Cushing does
that all the time.
I don't know about that. In order
for it to have any power, I think
it's gotta be an official crucifix.
What's an official cross? Some
piece of tin made in Taiwan? What
makes that official? If a cross
works against vampires, it's not
the cross itself, it's what the
cross represents. The cross is a
symbol of holiness.
Okay, I'll buy that. So we got
crosses covered, moving right
along, what else?
Wooden stakes in the heart been
workin' pretty good so far.
Garlic, holy water, sunlight... I
forget, does silver do anything to
I know silver bullets are
werewolves. But I'm pretty sure
silver has some sort of effect on
Does anybody have any silver?
Then who cares?
So all we have to do is get by for
a few more hours and then we can
walk right out the front door.
Yeah, that's true, But I doubt our
barricades, that door, those
plastered windows and these walls
will last two more hours with those
bat fucks fuckin' with 'em.
Has anybody here read a real book
about vampires, or are we just
remembering what a movie said? I
mean a real book.
You mean like a Time-Life book?
I take it the answer's no. Okay
then, what do we know about these
Aside from they're thirsty.
Well, one thing, they might got
super human strength, but you can
Yeah, that bottle upside the head
of Santanico didn't kill her, but
it didn't feel too good either.
Another thing, you try and ram a
broken chair leg in a human, you
better be one strong
son-of-a-bitch. The human body is
one rough-tough machine. But these
vamps got soft bodies. The texture
of their skin is softer, mushier.
You can push shit right through
'em. Conceivably, if you hit one
hard enough, you could take their
fuckin' head off.
You could take their head off.
Actually, our best weapon against
these satanic cocksuckers is this
(he points at Jacob)
He's a preacher.
You can. You'll take it 'cause ya
got no choice. How'd ya like
twenty four hours of it, lying in a
muddy ditch with only the rotting
corpses of your friends to keep you
What are you talking about?
Back in '72 I was in Nam, trapped
behind enemy lines, lying in a rat
hole with my entire squad dead.
They thought they killed everybody,
and except for me, they were right.
But it wasn't for lack of trying.
A grenade blew up right next to me,
that's why I'm so pretty.
They thought I was dead, so I
played dead. They dumped all the
bodies in a ditch. All I could do
was lie there playing possum. Dead
bodies under me, dead bodies on top
of me, listening to the enemy laugh
and joke hour after hour after
TWO MALE VOICES (V.O.)
SEX MACHINE (V.O.)
That bite weren't nothin'. It just
hurt like a son-of-a-bitch, that's
all. It barely punched the skin.
The sound comes back as Frost finishes his story.
The group tries to PULL the TWO men apart.
Jacob gets his arm around Sex Machine's neck and tries
Sex Machine takes his teeth out of the biker's neck and
SINKS them in Jacob's arm.
Jacob SCREAMS and lets go.
Seth, Kate and Scott react to Jacob being bit.
Sex Machine GRABS Jacob and TOSSES him effortlessly over the
bar, CRASHING into a shelf full of liquor bottles.
Frost HOPS around the room, mad as a hornet,holding his
He smacks the shit out of Kate. She goes FLYING into a
Sex Machine turns, seeing Frost breaking off a big table
leg. Frost looks at the big vamp.
What are you gonna do about it?
Sex Machine's nostrils flare. He raises his meaty fist and
pulls it back, so he can really haul off.
Frost, top speed, stake raised, screaming.
Sex Machine lets loose with his punch,
Seth, Scott and Kate look up from the floor.
Jacob rises from behind the bar.
Frost's face COLLIDES with Sex Machine's fist. Sex Machine
hits Frost so hard it lifts the biker off the ground and
propels him through the air.
Seth sees where Frost is heading and says:
Sex Machine lets loose with a maniacal laugh.
Hundreds of bat-things fly into the bar.
Seth grabs the two kids by the hand and runs for the back
Behind the bar, Jacob grabs two pieces of wood from off the
Ten bat-things are in hot pursuit of Seth, Kate and Scott,
who are RUNNING for their lives. They get to the door of
the back room, whip it open, dive in and SLAM it behind
them. An ugly, fleshy bat-thing manges to get its head
caught in the door as it closes. Kate and Scott PUSH on the
door as hard as they can. The bat-thing's head, which is
inside, screams, howls and snaps in fury.
Seth turns toward the bat/vamp in the door. He sticks his
.45 in its big mouth.
He needs our help!
He's beyond our help. You saw him
get bit. I saw him get bit. We
all saw it. You can't help him.
I've got no one left to lose but
you. I can't be alone again.
We're sticking together.
INT. BAR ROOM - NIGHT
Jacob, holding a cross made out of two sticks and reciting
appropriate verse from the bible, is keeping the vampires at
bay. But, as Seth predicted, it is the shining power of his
restored faith that is his mightiest weapon. Jacob is
making his way through the vampires, toward the back door.
A lot of the bats have transformed into bat/devil/human
The creatures stand at the edge of Jacob's force field of
holiness. Many bat things fly around the bar like mad,
whirling dervishes. A cluster of bat-things over above and
in front of Jacob. They all growl and hiss at the man of
god. For every one step forward Jacob takes, the vampires
take one step back. Jacob recites the verse from the bible
in a threatening, mean, motherfucking, servant of god tone.
As he speaks with authority and strength, he sees Frost
lying on the ground, bat-things on him like ants on a candy
bar. But Jacob is too much in control to let even this
repugnant sight trip him up.
Jacob has backed himself up by the door.
Jacob hugs daughter and son. As he hugs them, we see his
When he releases them, they can't help but notice.
You bet your sweet ass you are, and
I'm gonna help you do it. But we
ain't got much time.
No, I'm not. I've been bit. In
effect, I'm already dead.
My guess is that this little dive's
been feeding on nomad road waifs
like bikers and truckers for a long
time. This is probably some of the
shipments they stole off the
Well, I say lets tear this place
apart for weapons. So when they
burst through that door, we'll make
'em wish they never did.
I don't give a shit about living or
dying anymore. I just want to send
as many of these devils back to
hell as I can.
The survivors are opening boxes and prying open crates. A
lot of what they find is bullshit. Pantyhose, coffee, teddy
bears, etc. But a few of the boxes are justwhat the doctor
ordered. Cases from a sporting good supplier yield a
shipment of baseball bats. Meant to arrive at toy stores
are a shipment of Uzi replica squirt guns and a box of
balloons. And captured en route to a hardware store are
shipments of power tools, saws and jack hammers.
Seth and Scott saw the bats into wooden stakes.
Kate fills the Uzi squirt guns with tap water from the back
Jacob, with Seth's knife, etches a cross into every bullet
in the .45 automatic's last full clip of ammo.
Vampires all start converging on the back room door, getting
their courage back.
Kate makes water balloons.
Scott sharpens the stakes to a point with the tools.
Seth attaches a wooden stake to the end of a jackhammer.
Jacob blesses the water in the squirt guns and balloons,
turning it into holy water.
Our heroes work together, preparing for the battle to come.
The back room door, barricaded with crates and boxes, begins
to be pounded on by the undead on the other side. The room
tone is a combination of chewing, scratching, pounding,
squeaking and screaming.
Finally they're ready.
Jacob turns to his kids.
Yeah, I promise.
Okay, okay, I promise I'll do it!
Not good enough, swear to God.
I swear to God, our father, that
when you change into one of the
undead, I will kill you.
Good girl. Now, Scott, we have
even less time, so I'm only giving
you the count of three. One...
You don't believe in suicide.
It's not suicide if you're already
Okay, I'll kill you when you
change, I swear to God in Jesus
Thank you, son.
Okay, vampire killers, let's kill
some fuckin' vampires.
Waiting for them are Scott and Kate holding Uzi squirt guns
and water balloons draped down their chests on a belt like
grenades. Jacob is holding a cross made of sharp wooden
stakes and the .45 with the cross bullets.
Seth is holding the jackhammer.
The survivors walk out of the back room into the bar. The
vamps back up, letting them inside.
What we have here is a Mexican standoff, a la "The Wild
Bunch." A moment of peace before the battle. The vamps
just watch the humans. The humans just watch the vamps.
Then, like the bull in the china shop, Seth ends the peace
by starting up the jackhammer.
The kids SPRAY the crowd with UZI fire, burning vampire
The pack of vamps retreat while the Fuller squad walk
They are attacked on all sides, but they keep moving towards
Seth slams the stakes into several of the vamps, it speeds
in and out of vampire chests, each time spraying him in
green vamp blood.
Jacob shoves his cross stake into a vampire with one hand
and SHOOTS three vampires with blessed bullets with the
Flame BURSTS from the vampires' chests when the bullets hit.
Kate and Scott both whip water balloons off their belts and
toss them into the crowd.
They burst and FRY several of the vamps, who fall, screaming
From its perch on a wood ceiling beam, a bat-thing drops and
HURLS toward the group.
Jacob sees it, raises his gun and FIRES.
The bat-thing bursts into a ball of screaming fire.
Seth continues carving a path to the front door by slamming
the hammer stake into vampire chests.
The front door is barricaded again by a big table and other
To keep the daylight out! This is
where they sleep! Get to the door!
Seth is thrown from his hold on the hammer across the room,
He CRASHES into a table.
The Sex Machine-thing falls back with the jackhammer
sticking out of his chest, dead.
Kate, spraying Uzi fire like Rambo, sees Seth fall. She
Everybody goes home!
Jacob, firing the .45, takes out several more vampires in
Scott fires the Uzi and chucks more water balloons.
As Jacob fights, all of a sudden the sound goes out. He
can't hear anything. He wonders if he's gone deaf. He
starts to hear the words: "Thirst, thirst, thirst." He
notices the vampires have stopped attacking him. They look
at him wit happy smiles on their devilish faces. Fangs
begin to grow. His eyes are yellow.
Scott turns to his dad. He sees his father is a monster.
Jacob, with a devilish grin on his face, GRABS Scott and
sinks his teeth into Scott's forearm. Scott screams bloody
murder as his dad begins to drain him of blood.
Scott takes one of the water balloons he's wearing and
SMASHES it against Jacob's head.
The holy water melts half of Jacob's face away. He lets go
of Scott, screaming, and drops the .45 on the floor.
Scott drops to the ground, picking up the gun. He brings it
up to fire.
A totally evil Jacob, with only half a face, matches stares
with the boy he once called his son.
Scott's eyes turn to steel.
From across the room, Fate sees her daddy ignite. She cries
out. In the thick of the battle, Seth yells:
A bat-thing lands on the back of Scott's neck. He screams
as it bites into him. He drops the .45.
Kate sees Scott get bit.
Now seven bat-things are on Scott biting and sucking blood.
Scott is in agony.
One... two... three bat-things are hit, shoot flames, then
all of them EXPLODE, BLOWING UP Scott.
The remaining vamps approach.
All the humans have left is a few bullets and one holy
Well, when you run out of weapons,
just start cold cocking 'em. Make
'em sing for their supper.
The two survivors look at the vampires, who stand before
them. A moment of stillness before the attack. Kate stands
holding the .45, arm outstretched.
Seth holds the Uzi like a club, ready to bash in the first
vampire's head that gets in swinging distance.
Beams of sunlight shoot through the holes that Kate shot
through the wall. Approaching vampires burn. The scorched
vamps scream like they've never screamed before.
The .45's empty.
The vamps hiss and scream at the frustration of not being
able to get at them.
The two survivors hold hands, when...
All of a sudden the door to the Titty Twister is pounded on
from the outside.
The vamps look towards it in horror.
From the other side of the door, we hear a voice with a
Why the fuck, outta all the
god forsaken shitholes in Mexico,
did you have us rendezvous at that
I don't know, one place's as good as another
Have you ever been there before?
No, but I passed by it a couple of times.
It's out in the middle of nowhere. It seems
like a rowdy place, so there wouldn't be a lot
of police. And it's open from dusk till dawn.
You said meet you in the morning.
Well, because you picked that place out of
hat, my brother's dead now. And this girl's
Did they look like psychos? They were fuckin'
vampires. Psychos don't explode when sunlight
hits'em, I don't care how crazy they are.
You can't, but fifteen percent
instead of thirty for my stay at El
Ray is a good start.
Jesus Christ, Carlos, my brother's
dead and he's not coming back, and
it's all your fault. Twenty.
Seth gets the suitcase and gives Carlos 25%. Seth walks over to a red 1990 Porsche 911.
You like the car?
I said new, this is an '90.
It's hardly been used at all. I got it from a drug dealer who only drove it 5 times in as many years.
So you'll follow me?
Sure, just a minute.
Seth takes a few stacks of bills from the suitcase.
(Handing cash to Kate)
Here, take this.
Can I come with you?
Do you even know where El Ray is?
Well it's not a place for someone like you. Go to your family.
They are all dead. My father and Scott were all I had.
Well, good luck.
Seth follows Carlos out of view. CRANE SHOT up to an aerial view of the Titty Twister bar. We see Kate in the Winnebago driving off. As we back behind the bar we see that the back is really an Aztec temple. Evidently the vamps killed off the Aztecs and took over their bar. Rusted trucks are thrown in the pit behind the bar.
Quentin Tarantino Richard Gecko
George Clooney Seth Gecko
Harvey Keitel Jacob
Juliette Lewis Kate
Tom Savini Sex Machine
Ernest Liu Scott
Fred Williamson Frost
Selma Hayek Santanico Pandemonium
Cheech Marin Border Guard, Chet Pussy, Carlos