ANIMANIACS TRANSCRIPTIONS --- EPISODE #7 ======================================== NEWSREEL OF THE STARS --------------------- Animation: TOKYO MOVIE SHINSHA LTD. NARRATOR: Newsreel of the Stars! Dateline Hollywood, 1930, the Warner Bros. Studio. Here at the studio's new animation department, the artists toil endlessly to come up with cartoon stars, ultimately creating three new characters -- the Warner Brothers and their Sister Dot. Y,W,D: [Leaping off animator's drawing board onto Hello Nurse (or maybe her great-grandmother)] Helllllllo, Nurse! NARRATOR: Unfortunately, the Warner kids were totally out of control. Y,W,D: Boingy! Boingy! Boingy! Boingy! NARRATOR: The trio ran amok throughout the studio ... until their capture. The Warners' films, which made absolutely no sense, were locked away in the studio vault, never to be released. As for the Warners themselves, they were locked away in the studio water-tower, also never to be released. Publicly, the studio has disavowed any knowledge of the Warners' existence, to this very day, -- when the Warners escaped! MAIN TITLE ---------- Music: RICHARD STONE Lyrics: TOM RUEGGER Director: RICH ARONS Animation: TOKYO MOVIE SHINSHA LTD. Theme song (see AMLF 1.6, #1) Variable Verse: (Dot): Here's the show's name-y, TOILET ESCAPE ------------- Animation: TOKYO MOVIE SHINSHA, LTD. {Animaniacs Theme} PIANO RAG --------- Written by: NICHOLAS HOLLANDER Directed by: MICHAEL GERARD Animation: TOKYO MOVIE SHINSA, LTD. DR. S.: The Warners have escaped! Catch them! {Song Break}[Not in the AMLF. Gee, that doc is less complete than I thought] Y,W,D: Lally-dally-loo, Lally-dally-lee, You can't catch us, We're the Warner three. {Animaniacs Theme} {Rita and Runt's Theme} [Cut to street corner; Ralph is by a trash can] RALPH: [To audience] Suschhhhhh. YAKKO: Tag! You're it! RALPH: Yaaaaa! YAKKO: Pbbbttt. RALPH: I-I caught em, Doc. [Singing] I-I-I-I-I got em. DR. S.: Good for you. RALPH: Good for me. DR. S.: You got ME, you big dummy! NURSE: {Drums} Um, there they are. {Warner theme} DR. S.: Get them! [Next shot] Ralph, you take the back. Miss Nurse, you take... my breath away. N-No; you take the side. Und I'll go in the front! {Warners' theme} CROWD: Yow! YAKKO: [After opening side door] Goodbyyye Nurse! RALPH: [From back door] I-I-I-I got ya! YAKKO: Not! [After trio sit in front row] We'll hide in here till the coast is clear. {Over the Waves} WAKKO: Ooh, a magic show! This ought to be fun. TYMP.: Franz Schubert intended the scherzo to reflect the struggle between intellect and the creative process. YAKKO: @@@@@@@@@@@h -- I don't think he's a magician. DOT: Sure he is. This a just a set-up. WAKKO: Hey mister, pull a rabbit outta your pants! CROWD: Sshhhh! YAKKO: What are you, leaky tires? TYMP.: However, Schubert was simply incapable of expressing such delicate nuance. But, thanks to *my* genius, I will perform this great work, not as the composer wrote it, but as he *intended*. Schubert's intermezzo andante allegro opus 9. [Tympannini hits a key] YAKKO: We're outta here. 'Scuse us, DOT: Coming through, WAKKO: Make way, YAKKO: Pardon us, DOT: Gang way, WAKKO: Gotta go, YAKKO: Pardon us, DOT: Coming through. [They stop] Uh-oh. YAKKO: Hit reverse sibs. DOT: Hgourth gnimoc, YAKKO: Su nodrap, WAKKO: Og attog, DOT: Yaw gnag, YAKKO: Su nodrap, WAKKO: Yaw ekam DOT: Hgourth gnimoc, YAKKO: Su esucs. [Tympanini begins. Ralph, Hello Nurse, Dr. S. walk down the aisle] USHER: [Loud whisper] The concert has begun! Take your seats! DR. S.: Your mother used Pampers. TYMP.: Once again, the Schubert. YAKKO: [With his mouth full] Caramel [sounds like "Karmel"] corn? {Someone's in the kitchen with Dinah} WAKKO: Don't mind if I do. Taffy? DOT: 'Kay. [Typannini taps his foot, his arm extended] TYMP.: All of it. [Next scene] WAKKO: Gulp. DOT: [Aside] Deeee-gusting. TYMP.: The Schubert! [T takes gum from Wakko. It is stuck on his hand as he tries to play] YAKKO: Now *that's* entertainment. [Piano destroyed by T. in the piece; audience applauds afterwards] YAKKO: Very Pete Townsend-esque. DOT: Who? WAKKO: Exactly. Y,W,D: Who-who-who-who-who!!! TYMP.: Yes, well... um for my next number, Ludwig Von Plotzburger's most compelling musical accomplishment. Regretfully, only as sophisicated ear as mine own can fully appreciate the sheer...depth of this masterpiece. Complete and absolute concentration is required. Von Plotzburger's pavan and dirge in C-Minor, opus 7 -- and 11. [Tympannini plays] Y,W,D: {I Dream of Jeannie} [Tympanini strikes hard on the piano] Y,W,D: Bravo, bravo, bravo, bravo, bravo, bravo, bravo, bravo, bravissimo, more, more, encore! RALPH: Ah, so there you is! [Piano music, presumably Tympannini playing Ludwig von Plotzburger] RALPH: I-I-I-I got 'em now, Doc! DR. S.: Ha-ha! Good job Ralphie! Let's have a look, huh? Vas is das? TYMP.: Grrrrrr! DR. S.: But, where are the Warner Brothers? {SONG BREAK! see AMLF 1.6, # 15} WHEN RITA MET RUNT ------------------ Written by: SHERRI STONER Directed by: MICHAEL GERARD Animation: FREELANCE ANIMATORS WOMAN 1:Thank you; keep the change. [Inside] Excuse me. I have to - uh - give uh - return uh - RITA: Spit it out sister. WOMAN: TAKE THIS CAT! It's just not working out. I thought I would like having a cat, I really did. I thought she would be good company, I need that. I just went through a horrible breakup. RITA: Huh, eww-man. WOMAN 1:It's just ... she's so independent. She would just sit and stare at me, you know, like she was better than me or something. You understand, don't you? I want a pet who'll come when I call, and cuddle me when I've had a bad day. RITA: Have a kid, lady. [Next scene] WOMAN 1:[On television] RUNT: Woof woof, ruff ruff ruff. MAN: Slow down! Slow down, will ya? RUNT: Ruff, ruff. Pant, pant, pant. Ruff! MAN: I spent 700 bucks trying to potty train this dog, and he still won't go on the paper, ya know? My kid really wanted a dog, but, but, this ... thing, has eaten every pair of shoes I own, and he completely destroyed a $4000 pure teak timber kids' playset. He chewed it to bits! Ohh, I hate dogs! RUNT: Gosh, what a nice guy. {Runt theme, slow version} RITA: Who's there? RUNT: Where? RITA: All right bub, who are ya? RUNT: My name's Runt. But my master calls me stupid -- what a nice guy! Uh, who are you? RITA: Name's Rita. First time in the joint? RUNT: Yup. RITA: What'cha in for? RUNT: Wetting on the carpet. You? RITA: Same as always, being too hip for the room. RUNT: Oh. [Musical interlude with the Warners running in the rain] {Parody of "Singing in the Rain"} RUNT: RITA: Oh, here comes our ticket to freedom. Make with the sad eyes. WOMAN 2:I'm looking for something cute; something independent. Oh, that's it!! Oh-ho-ho, it's adorable! Oh, oh, oh, ohhhh! Come to mama. RITA: Humans. Go fig. RUNT: Yeah, ain't they great? Who else would adopt a rat? [Rita scratches "HUMANS STINK" on the wall] RITA: Ah, what difference does it make? Soon we'll be sleeping the big sleep. RUNT: Yawn. I could use a nap. RITA: They're gonna gas us you baffoon! We'll be dead! RUNT: I don't think I'm that tired. RITA: You're not a very smart cat, are you Runt? RUNT: [Pause] Nope. RITA: Well, at least you're honest. [She stretches] What's a human good for anyway? {SONG BREAK! See AMLF 1.6 #17} [When this comes on CD, I'll be first in line to buy it. This song convinced me that Animaniacs is on a much higher level than any other cartoon] RITA: Sigh. [Bars fall off window] Who knew? [Sticks paw out to Runt] Hey, uh -- it's been nice making your acquaintance. {Auld Lang Syne} RUNT: Um, if I made it, I'm glad it was nice. RITA: Uh, hey -- If you ever need anything, just whistle. [Runt whistles 'Pop goes the Weasel' as she leaps] Me and my overused cliches. [She picks the lock to her cage] Let's assume the apparent; you want me to bust you out, and if I don't, it'll play on my conscience like an out of tune accordion. Okay. But once I spring ya, you're on your own. I don't know you, you don't know me, deal? RUNT: Woof! {Music} RITA: "Woof"? You're a... DOG! RUNT: So are you. You're a good dog, Rita. A really good dog. {Where, oh where has my little dog gone} RITA: I-am-a-cat. RUNT: A cat? A cat?! Where?! Where's a cat?! Where's the furry feline?! I'll chomp it to bits! Grrr, grrr, grrrrr.... RITA: Oh never mind. Let's amscray! R.& R.: Uhh! CATCHER:Break it up! Troublemakers, huh? Looks like I'll have to separate you two. RUNT: Woof! [Jumps on the catcher] {Music} [Rita and Runt escape] CATCHER:I hate government jobs. RITA: Hey Lassie, you can stop now. HEEL BOY! {Runt theme} [On the telephone post] Unhh, dogs. [On the ground] That was a pretty chivalrous thing...you did... back there. RUNT: Really? Gee, I-I'm sorry. RITA: Listen, whaddya say ... we pal around together for a while? You know, at least till we find a home. RUNT: That would be terrific. RITA: But, when we each find a home, I don't know you, you don't know me, deal? RUNT: Uh, I don't have any cards. RITA: Hit the road, Einstein. RUNT: Hey Rita, look at all the trees, would ya, huh? RITA: What have I started? RUNT: Do other dogs know all about these trees? Hmm, huh, do they? I mean, this is incredible. Smell this one, Rita. This smells like cheese, definitely a cheese tree.... BARBER'S CHAIR RETURN --------------------- Animation: TOKYO MOVIE SHINSHA {Animaniacs Theme} CREDITS ======= Rob Paulsen......................Yakko, Dr. Scratchansniff Jess Harnell.....................Wakko Tress Macneille..................Dot, Hello Nurse, Woman 1, Woman 2 Frank Welkner....................Runt, Ralph John Rhys-Davies.................Tympannini and Bernadette Peters............as Rita Jeep Driver -- Kathryn Page --------------------------------- End Tag: Y,W,D: Goodbyyye, Nurse! --------------------------------- Copyright (C) 1993 Amblin Entertainment & Warner Bros. Animation All rights ignored Transcribed by the evil pirate Cap'n Rog ...... Return to top level POIT page.