ANIMANIACS TRANSCRIPTIONS --- EPISODE #3 06/95 ======================================== MAIN TITLE ---------- Music: RICHARD STONE Lyrics: TOM RUEGGER Director: RICH ARONS Animation: TOKYO MOVIE SHINSHA LTD. "It's time for Animaniacs, And we're zany to the max! The whole song this transcript lacks; Why do you think we have FAQs? We're An-i-man-i, totally insan-ey, DOT: Come back Shaney, Animaniacs!" SOAP BOX DERBY ESCAPE --------------------- Animation: TOKYO MOVIE SHINSHA (Note the 'ANIMANIACS' license plate) H.M.S. YAKKO ------------ By: PAUL RUGG Director: MICHAEL GERARD Animation: TOKYO MOVIE SHINSHA LTD. {"We Sail the Ocean Blue" from *HMS Pinafore*} {"With Cat-Like Tread" from *the Pirates of Penzance*} Y,W,D: "We surf the sea! The Warners we three be! To catch a gaze Of a beach to get some rays! We'll never sink! Our board's not what you think! It's got a tail In fact it is a whale!" DOT: So long pal! WAKKO: Stay out of trouble! YAKKO: Thanks for the ride! DOT: See you after the show! YAKKO: We'll go out for sushi! Y & W: "Yes! Brothers Warner we! DOT: And the Warner Sister! YAKKO: You'd like her if you kissed her! Y,W,D: We've surfed the seven seas Now it's time to catch some z's! Hey!" YAKKO: Come siblings. [Signs: "PIRATE PROPERTY, STAY OUT" "BE YE WARNED!" "DEAD MEN TELL NO TALES!" "TO ADVERTISE CALL 555-R-MATEY") YAKKO: How about right here? It's *so* cheery. Wakko? {With Cat-Like Tread} Y,W,D: {Beautiful Dreamer} {"Away, Away! My heart's on fire" from *the Pirates of Penzance*} {"I Am the Captain of the Pinafore" from *HMS Pinafore*} MEL: "I am the evil pirate captain Mel CREW: And a really evil pirate too. MEL: You're very very kind, I'm an evil mastermind And I'll do cruel things to you. CREW: We are very very kind, He's an evil mastermind, And he'll do cruel things to you! MEL: I'll kick you in the knee, Poke your eye so you can't see, And hit you with my sword. Though I be a pirate swine, I have to draw the line, So I will not push you overboard. CREW: What, never? MEL: No, never. CREW: What, neverrrr? MEL: Hardly ever!" Har ha-ha, hah hah, ha-ha. *Gasp!* They be tresspassin' on me pirate property! I'll show them, I will! Whoah! {Away, Away} YAKKO: Hey! Ooh -- It's our new best friend. MEL: Who be ye? YAKKO: Ye be we. We're the Warner brothers. {With Cat-Like Tread} DOT: And the Warner sister. MEL: Ye be trespassers on me private pirate property. WAKKO: Bet you can't say that three times fast. MEL: Pirate prenotwey. Poepley. Pie. Per. WAKKO: You lose! MEL: Rrrrr. {I Am the Captain of the Pinafore} The penalty for trespassin' is death. WAKKO: Faboo! YAKKO: {With Cat-Like Tread} You can't kill us, you hardly know us! So, @@@@@@h, how's about a kiss? Song break! {"Never Mind the Why and Wherefore" from *HMS Pinafore*} Y,W,D: "Gosh we're scared, oh gosh, we're frightened, 'Cause our itty bitty new friend Has his teeny weeny brain all set on blowing us to bits. Oh how horrible, deplorable, this really is the pits! Y,W,D, M: We should run and we should flee, Then where would our story be? This could spell the bitter end. MEL: For animated kids like them. YAKKO: For the oldest Warner brother, DOT: And his pretty Warner sister, WAKKO: And the other Warner brother, MEL: Their small lives I will smother. They should run and they should flee, Then where would this story be? This...--" YAKKO: Bon voyahgee! Y,W,D: B'bye! {Aloha-oe} MEL: Come back here you piles of sluggish sea slime! {Away, Away} [Mel rolls out harpoon cannon whilst chuckling sinisterly] Arrrgh! [Sign reads: "WISH YOU WERE HERE"] {With Cat-Like Tread} MEL: Agh. *Gasp* Y,W,D: Arrg! Arrrrg! Arr arrrrg! etc. {Away, Away} WAKKO: Arr Yarr eearrr arr ee arrg. YAKKO: [Whispering] Too big. WAKKO: Arrg. YAKKO: Better. MEL: I'll teach you three scalliwags to mess with the likes of me. Choose your weapon. YAKKO: Okay. How's this? MEL: Aaaaagh! How did ye do that? {Sailor's Hornpipe} YAKKO: Uh, you mean with the big comedy cannon? You really wanna know? MEL: Arrg. YAKKO: I'll take that as a yes. {Here we go 'round the mulberry bush} SONG: I AM THE VERY MODEL OF A CARTOON INDIVIDUAL (See AMLF -- Parody of "I am the very model of a modern major general" from *HMS Pinafore*) [The carvings on the ship read: "Mel is a meany"] {Slappy Intro} Y,W,D: The crankiest of creatures in the whole wide world, Our next cartoon features Slappy the Squirrel! SLAPPY: Enh, enough with the singin' already! Y,W,D: That's Slappy! SLAPPY GOES WALNUTS ------------------- By: SHERRI STONER Directors: JON McCLENAHAN and CHRIS BRANDT Animation: STARTOONS {Slappy's Theme, aka Dvorak's "Humoresque"} YOUNG SLAPPY Dah, dah dee, dee dee, dee deeeh dee... {I've been working on TV: on the railroad} [Squirrel rump roast 69 cents/lb.] SLAPPY: Wild take number thirty-two. Ha haaaah! Regular as clockwork. Wish everything was regular as clockwork. WALTER (TV): Waaaah! Wah Waaaaah! etc. YOUNG SLAPPY: If there's one thing I hate -- BOTH SLAPPIES:-- it's a cry baby! *laughter* {Merrie Melodies Theme ("Merrily We Roll Along")} SLAPPY: *hack hack hack spit* YOUNG SLAPPY: Now that's com-- COMMERCIAL: Totally awesome ACME Snax! They are fun and energy-packed! Sugar-coated sugar-snacks! {Slappy's Theme} SLAPPY: Ehh, stuff it. Flippin' network cuts out my famous endline for some razza-flavin' crudball commercial here. Ehh, somebody get me a peen-ball hammer. Who is it? SKIPPY: Aunt Slappy! SLAPPY: What can I do? He's my nephew. Hello Skippy. SKIPPY: Hi! What happened to your TV set? SLAPPY: It's having a bad day. Pardon me, but you've got a little excess energy there Skippy. SKIPPY: Must be these totally awesome ACME Snax. Want some? SLAPPY: Now there's a colour found in nature. SKIPPY: Neat huh! GARBAGE DISPOSAL: Blech! SLAPPY: Ehh, no wonder you like that "Bonkers" show. That junk's rottin' out yer brain there. SKIPPY: What'cha looking for? SLAPPY: I'm gonna make you some brain food. That's right, my famous walnut fig-dough surprise. SKIPPY: What's the surprise? SLAPPY: I'm outta walnuts. C'mon. Let's go visit Doug the dog. We'll get some walnuts out of his old walnut tree. SKIPPY: Doug the dog!? But he hates you, Aunt Slappy! He's been trying to eat you for years! SLAPPY: Thank you, mister exposition. {Animaniacs Theme} [Warners' runthrough] SKIPPY: I don't know aunt Slappy. I think we should just go to the store and buy a pack of walnuts. {Slappy's Theme} SLAPPY: Oh yeah, we'll have 'em in hysterics with that bit. Six minutes in a checkout line. Ooh, somebody stop me. I'm laughin'. DOUG: *growl snort* SKIPPY: But Doug the dog is mean! SLAPPY: Look, you've seen all my old cartoons, right? SKIPPY: About a trillion times! SLAPPY: I've wrestled with Walter Wolf, Sid the squid and Beany the brain dead bison. This Doug guy here's nothin'. {Merrie Melodies Theme} SKIPPY: Yeah, but those were cartoons and this is real life! SLAPPY: Don't tell him. He might crack. Look Skippy, I've seen and done every trick in the book. {Oh Where, Oh Where Has My Little Dog Gone} Hold it there, you're doing the old frozen take bit which means that Doug the dog... ...was right behind me. Heh heh heh heh. SKIPPY: That was just like in "Prehistoric Slappy". SLAPPY: That was "Cave Girl Slappy", 1932 directed by Piz Peeners. Ehh, but let's not be anal. Let's get some walnuts. {Title card theme (?)} DOUG: Garrrgh! SLAPPY: Hold it! Encheritos! Get your encheritos here. Encherito, mister? DOUG: SLAPPY: Ah, I can tell you're the kinda guy that likes 'em extra hot! Here you go amigo! What a schmutz. Here, put 'em under your pillow tonight. Maybe you'll get some dimes. SKIPPY: Grrreat! DOUG: *Sigh* {When Johnny Comes Marching Home} SLAPPY: Oops. Sorry. Arthritis. My grip ain't what it used to be. {Slappy's Theme} DOUG: Grrr. *Klang* SLAPPY: You remind me of a very young Scooby Doo. Ooh, that's sad. DOUG: Hee hee hah hah yuck etc. {Slappy's Theme} SLAPPY: Aww, gee. It's a xylophone. I wonder who it's from? "Dear Slappy, I'm so sorry about everything. Let's be pals. This is a small token of my esteem, Doug the dog." I think I'll play "Those Endearing Young Charms". SKIPPY: No, not that! {Those Endearing Young Charms} DOUG: Hee hee heh hah etc. SLAPPY: Old gag, new twist. Hah ha ha ha ha. Remember Skippy, never leave a mess when you're visiting someone else's home. SKIPPY: Right. DOUG: Hee hee etc. {In the Hall of the Mountain King} SLAPPY: Ah, here we go. The last two nuts. Ohh-ah, what the heck is this? "The Wonderful World of Walnuts". I hear Buddy Hackett's very good in this. {Parody of Disney's "Wonderful World of Colour"} TV: "The world is a carousel of walnuts. Beautiful, colourful, walnuts." DOUG: *snicker snicker* TV: Now as we all know, walnuts grow on trees. SLAPPY: Ehh, what's the matter with this thing? Cheesy piece of hooey manure. Ehhhh, that's even worse. TV: This frisky little fella makes his home in the hollow of an old tree. A squirrel likes to hide his nuts in many odd places where the sun doesn't shine on 'em. SLAPPY: Thanks for the walnuts! {Those Endearing Young Charms} DOUG: *whew* SLAPPY: Hey! Lionel Hampton! These last two nuts you gave me are rotten! That's a catchy tune. Hah hah hah hah hah. Ehh, somebody stop me. [Back at home] {Slappy's Theme} SLAPPY: Ahh. Now this is brain food. Somebody shoot me. SKIPPY: SLAPPY: Ehh, look at this. Hi grandma, how the heck are yah? Ahh, you shouldn't have. Let's see here, I've bonked him, flattened his head and blown him up. What am I forgetting? SKIPPY: I know! SLAPPY: Told you my walnut figdough was brain food. Hah hah ha hah. Now that's comedy! YAKKO'S UNIVERSE ---------------- See AMLF CREDITS ======= Rob Paulsen..............as Yakko Jess Harnell.............as Wakko Tress MacNeille............as Dot Sherri Stoner...........as Slappy Nathan Ruegger..........as Skippy Jeff Bennett.......as Captain Mel Shark Handler -- Kathryn Page ------------------------------------------------------- We are the very models of cartoon individuals! (C) 1993 ------------------------------------------------------- Copyright 1993 Warner Bros. Animation, Amblin Entertainment. All rights reserved. Transcribed by Marv Allenbrand (marv_allenbrand@MENTORG.COM) March 1995. Last updated June 25, 1995. ...... Return to top level POIT page.