ANIMANIACS TRANSCRIPTIONS --- EPISODE #15 ========================================= MAIN TITLE ---------- Music: RICHARD STONE Lyrics: TOM RUEGGER Director: RICH ARONS Animation: TOKYO MOVIE SHINSHA LTD. "It's time for Animaniacs, And we're zany to the max! The whole song this transcript lacks; Why do you think we have FAQs? We're An-i-man-i, totally insan-ey, YAKKO: Andromeda strainy! Animaniacs!" CANNON ESCAPE ------------- Animation: TOKYO MOVIE SHINSHA {Animaniacs theme} {1812 Overture} {B O O M !} {Animaniacs theme} SPACE PROBED ------------ By: JOHN P. McCANN Directors: GARY HARTLE, DAVE MARSHALL, RICH ARONS Animation: WANG FILM PRODUCTIONS {My Old Kentucky Home} WAKKO: Look at all those stars! DOT: They make me want to write poetry! Or bake a ham; I forget which. YAKKO: [Stretching] Well, sibs, I say we turn in. WAKKO: What do you want to turn into? I know! How about a bat? Or an elephant! Or a monkey! YAKKO: Don't look at me; he's your brother. {Brahm's Lullaby} Y,W,D: [Snoring] WAKKO: Arf! Arf! Woof! Woof! YAKKO: [Sleepily] Thatsridihowamisupposedtogetanysleepwakkobarkinglike adogallnightgimmeabreak... DOT: TURN OUT THAT LIGHT!!! It attracts insects. WAKKO: [Hammering] {Rock-a-bye, Baby} SHIP: >Urp! ALIEN: Yeccch! Ptui-pt-pt-pt-pt-pt-ptu! Keyshudeghbuhdledebgnodgrha. #Yuck! I hate kissy stuff!# YAKKO: Awwwright! It's a foreign film! Y & W: Aa, Yoda. Bokutachi wa Waanaa Buraazasu da! #Hi, Yoda! We're the Warner Brothers.# DOT: Und der Varner seester! #And the Warner sister.# ALIEN: Do gigidigbdu...ni megoduchigodye gezundheit, bee deguia i troh digidugidah. #My fellow beings... These are typical earth beings.# {Miscellaneous opening-card theme} Y,W,D: Blaaaaaaah!! WAKKO: Hey! What gives? YAKKO: We're either going to be examined ... or dry-cleaned. ALIEN: Mydoh owhesd ehr ivlegses. #I will now test their reflexes.# DOT: Hee-hee! WAKKO: Sorry, Yoda. It's my reflexes. ALIEN: Leggdadohn aw, huit? Wonchu joyn meatna dezur. #Let's move on, shall we? We will now inspect their bodies.# YAKKO: "...Inspect their bodies"? Ex-squeeze me? @@@@@I think I should warn you -- we've eaten within the last twenty-four hours. Look! It's big fat Scotty from "Star Trek"! {Reminiscent-of-Powerhouse music} ALIEN: Aaaaaghhhh! Woooaaaghhhh-hahhhh! Whoaaa-aaaaaaiiihhh! #Aaaaaghhhh! Woooaaaghhhh-hahhhh! Whoaaa-aaaaaaiiihhh!# YAKKO: Whoa! That'll leave a mark! DOT: Naw, don't get up, really! YAKKO: Hey, listen, Yoda! While you're recuperating, you mind if we take a look around? Maybe ... play a game of tag? ALIEN: Yegh! #No!# DOT: [Adds "problem" after "No"] Hey, thanks! YAKKO: Oh, by the way ... TAG!! You're it!! {Overture from The Pirates of Penzance} YAKKO: There you are! Everybody's lookin' for you guys! ELVIS: You all leave us alone, man. YAKKO: Can I have your autograph? {Three Blind Mice} Hee-hee-hee-hyo-ho-ho-ha-ha! Hee-hee-hee-hyo-ho-ho-ha-ha! Hee-hee-ha-ha-ho-ho! ... TAG! You're it! ALIENS: [Laughing] ALIEN: [Not 'Alien' as in Yoda; 'Alien' as in _Alien_] Grrrroaaaarrrr! DOT: You know ... you should meet my pet! {In the Hall of the Mountain King} PET: Reeeeaaaaooooowwwwwgh! MONSTER:Nyagh-yagh-yagh-yagh-yagh! {Overture from Romeo & Juliet} DOT: I hope I'm invited to the wedding! ALIENS: Therweoudaghethulaghdugh! DOT: There's a pick-up line if I ever heard one! {Theme from Pinky and the Brain} DOT: Oh! How thoughtful! You're giving me a perm! Do my hair like Betty Rubble, would ya? {The Gold-Diggers' Song} Hey! Those are my thoughts! How about this one? Helloooo, nurse! Awww ... Wowwwwwwwwww... This is great! You try it! ALIENS: Allooooogh, kgnaghsh! #Helloooo, nurse!# DOT: Aliens! Go fig! WAKKO: Can I get a root beer? Yoda! Didja miss me! ALIEN: Ptu-pt-pt-ptui! Noooo, nowghiy gauhda foo jersey! #Ewww, now I have Earth cooties!# Donjoo frigen ovurdhair! #Get on!# {Strolling through the Park One Day} Whadayewe duin! #No! Use your lower appendages!# WAKKO: "Use your lower appendages." What's an appendage? ALIEN: Lyekh dis! WAKKO: Wow! I'm not as good as you, Yoda. See ya later! {Parody of Jetsons' theme} ALIEN: Nowaid!! Whoap, nodoghn leame aaagh! #Jane!! Stop this crazy thing!# {Can-Can} YAKKO: Oh, come on, don't give up! You can catch me! [Panting] I'm *really* tired! ... Nah! Hm! Must be their lunch time! BEING: Did you bring me a Q-tip? YAKKO: Uhhhh -- not as such. Who are you? TOE: Call me...Toe. YAKKO: Good choice. TOE: I am the Supreme One. The pinnacle of evolution. In a million years, *you* will look like *me*. YAKKO: But darling! If I look like you, then what will YOU look like? Maybe you'll look like me! Ah, but then you'll have to live in a water- tower in Burbank! Oh! Try that for a million years! Hoo hoo-hoo! TOE: Ahhh ... I haven't had a nail-buff in centuries! You please me, sub-creature. I choose to grant you one wish. Think and it will be done. YAKKO: [Thinking] Helllooo, nurse! {Warners' theme} NURSE: YAKKO: Thanks! You're the nicest toe I've ever met! Just one little kiss? I've had all my shots! WAKKO: Gold-robe's it! Gold-robe's it! ALIEN: Enh nogh! Eng nogh! #Am not! Am not!# Y,W,D: Woahhhhhhh! DOT: I wonder if it's got cruise-control? YAKKO: Hey, Yode! Mind if we drive! ALIEN: BLEAAAAAGH! #NOOOOOOOOO!# YAKKO: Thanks! ALIEN: Ooooooooaaagh... YAKKO: Well, sibs, I doubt we'll ever see them again! {There's no Place Like Home} Y,W,D: Uh-oh! TOE: Would you mind doing my cuticles? Y,W,D: Ewwwww! PINKY: Gee, Brain, what do you wanna do tonight? BRAIN: The same thing we do every night, Pinky! Try to take over the world! {Pinky and the Brain theme} Y,W,D: They're Pinky and the Brain, They're Pinky and the Brain. One is a genius, the other's insane! To prove their mousey worth, They'll overthrow the earth. They're dinky, they're Pinky and the Brain-Brain-Brain-Brain-Brain! BATTLE FOR THE PLANET --------------------- By: PETER HASTINGS Director: ALFRED GIMENO Animation: WANG FILM PRODUCTIONS BRAIN: Hallowe'en, Pinky, 1938. The Mercury Radio Theatre presented an adaptation of H.G. Wells' "War of the Worlds" that was so realistic, people actually fled the cities believing that creatures from Mars were attacking the Earth. It proved that radio was a powerful tool. And now, Pinky, the advance of technology has brought us an even more powerful tool. Do you know what that is? PINKY: Um ... the rubber band? BRAIN: The workings of your mind are a mystery to me, Pinky. PINKY: Ooh, I love a good mystery, Brain! BRAIN: Television, Pinky, is our new tool! We will pirate the airwaves and stage a hoax like "War of the Worlds". PINKY: *Three* cameras, Brain? BRAIN: Yes! A technique pioneered by the great Desi Arnez! And with them, we will scare the people of the cities, leaving no resistance behind! We will have taken over the world! PINKY: Egad, Brain, Brilliant! Oh, oh, wait, no, no -- why would they be scared of us? We're so small, um, we're practically the size of mice, Brain! BRAIN: We *are* mice, Pinky. PINKY: Oh, right. Well, there you are then. Nya-ha-ha! BRAIN: It's not a question of size, Pinky. It's a question of scale. Watch the monitor. PINKY: Zounds, Brain! You're gigantic! BRAIN: Television, Pinky -- the great deceptor! PINKY: Narf!! {Pinky and the Brain theme} BRAIN: How is my disguise, Pinky? PINKY: Oh! Is that you, Brain? BRAIN: You flatter me, Pinky. Now throw the switch and let us begin -- The Battle for the Planet! {Powerhouse-like music} GUY 1: Huh? BRAIN: We interrupt your regular broadcast to bring you this important news bulletin! GUY 2: What is THAT? GUY 1: Someone's pirated the TV lines! BRAIN: Scientists have just reported that a large unidentified flying object seems to be heading towards Earth! There is no cause for alarm ... but there probably will be. VIEWERS: {Animaniacs theme} BRAIN: We take you now to our satellite view of the planet, perhaps to catch a glimpse of this fearful courier of the unknown! PINKY: Whooosh! Wheeee, whooosh! BRAIN: I've just received word that the UFO is about to crash-land near-by! There should be a great explosion! ... [Louder] I said, there should be a great explosion!! PINKY: Oh, oh, right, Brain! NARF! Sorry, Brain! BRAIN: We'll go live to the crash site momentarily. BRAIN: I'm reporting to you live from the crash site, and I...I'm at a loss for words. Can we get a shot of this Very Frightening scene? I am now positioned close to the ... well, I can only assume that this is a vehicle from outer space, it's occupants here to destory the Earth. Wait -- there's a strange noise emanating from inside ... Something seems to be coming out of the ship! PINKY: [Wailing] BRAIN: Oh my! It's hideous! Ladies and gentlemen, I can hardly describe this terrifying creature before me, except to say -- run for your lives! Go on, empty the cities! Leave everything behind! I -- I don't know how long I can stay on the air. I'll try to get to our aerial view in chopper 5! BRAIN: [Flapping jacket] Chopper 5, high above the city. The horrible creatures from Mars, invading, destroying -- everything in their path! Oh, the humanity! PINKY: [Screeching] BRAIN: This is no hoax, ladies and gentlemen! I urge you to run for your lives while you can! We're not making this up just so we can take over the world! Oh, no! It's heading this way! Run for your lives! Run for your lives!!! PINKY: [Wailing, etc.] Waaaaaaaggghhhhh! Yeaaauuuuh...! BRAIN: We did it, Pinky. Brilliant performance! Undoubtedly, the population has fled in fear from their terrifying enemy! Hah! {Pinky and the Brain theme} Let us make haste! To the Whitehouse! "'Battle for the Planet' is a comedy smash! World laughs together! Stay home for this one!" PEOPLE: [Laughing hysterically] BRAIN: Pinky, are you pondering what I'm pondering? PINKY: I think so, Brain, but if we didn't *have* ears, well, we'd look like weasels! BRAIN: No, Pinky! Our hoax! No one went anywhere! No one fled the cities, they found us ... humourous. PINKY: Where are you going, Brain? BRAIN: Back to our cage, Pinky. We must plan for tomorrow night. PINKY: Why? What are we going to do tomorrow night? BRAIN: The same thing we do every night, Pinky. Try to take over the world! Y,W,D: They're dinky, they're Pinky and the Brain-Brain-Brain-Brain-Brain! CREDITS ======= Rob Paulsen..............as Yakko Jess Harnell.............as Wakko Tress MacNeille............as Dot Maurice LaMarche.....as The Brain Jim Cummings...............as Toe Frank Welker.............as Ralph Bobbie's Sister -- Kathryn Page ------------------ Good-byyye, nurse! ------------------ Copyright (C) 1993 Amblin Entertainment & Warner Bros. Animation. ...... 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